Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Living by Cycle Days

As much as I hate it I have found that I no longer live by calendar days, now I live my cycle days. Currently on CD26 and my anxiety is revving up for DC 31... will AF come or will it not? Part of me wants it to just get here so I can get through it and start the process on our third IUI... but another part of me still hopes that maybe we did it this time...
I feel like AF is going to come though, every stupid country song on the radio has me weeping like a baby, I'm sore everywhere and almost always tired. I've been trying to keep myself busy with holiday decorating and organizing my scrapbook areas, but I still find myself deep in thought over if we will ever get pregnant and if we will ever have a baby.
Found out recently that the newest baby to be in the family will be a girl, I'm excited, I will love this new niece of mine, but it's also so heartbreaking that she will make number 10 born into the family since we have been trying for one of our own. I can't help the feelings of being cheated somehow, of things just not being fair. I hate feeling so empty all the time.
With all that being said, I will continue on just like I always do. Waiting for my turn.



Michael Buble
Haven't Met You Yet lyrics

I'm not surprised.
Not everything lasts.
I've broken my heart so many times I stopped keeping track.
Talk myself in.
I talk myself out.
I get all worked up, then I let myself down.

I tried so very hard not to lose it.
I came up with a million excuses.
I thought I thought of every possibility.

And I know someday that it'll all turn out.
You'll make me work so we can work to work it out.
And promise you, kid, that I'll give so much more than I get.
I just haven't met you yet.

Mmmm... 

I might have to wait.
I'll never give up.
I guess it's half timing,
And the other half's luck.
Wherever you are.
Whenever it's right.
You'll come out of nowhere and into my life.


And I know that we can be so amazing.
And baby your love is gonna change me.
And now I can see every possibility.

Mmmm... 
you_yet.html ]
But somehow I know that it'll all turn out.
And you'll make me work so we can work to work it out.
And I promise you, kid, I'll give so much more than I get.
I just haven't met you yet.

They say all's fair.
In love and war.
But I won't need to fight it.
We'll get it right and, 
We'll be united.

And I know that we can be so amazing.
And being in your life is gonna change me.
And now I can see every single possibility, mmmm.

And someday I know it'll all turn out.
And I'll work to work it out.
Promise you, kid, I'll give more than I get, 
Than I get, than I get, than I get.

Ohhh! 

You know it'll all turn out.
And you'll make me work so we can work to work it out.
And I promise you, kid, to give so much more than I get.
I just haven't met you yet.

I just haven't met you yet.
Ohh, promise you, kid, to give so much than I get.

(I said love, love, love, love...)
I just haven't met you yet

I just haven't met you yet.
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